“Take this little (poison) pill, it’ll help you sleep.
The other that we’ll give you will wipe away your grief.
Don’t fret about the side effects, they’ll be gone in a few weeks,”
the doctor said with confidence, lying through his teeth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“What kind of drug is this?” asked my cautious mom.
“A mood stabilizer, it will keep your daughter calm.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Risperdal: an atypical antipsychotic” I read when I got home.
Perhaps she’d have declined if only she had known.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Look at what this says, Mom. He lied right to our face.
A good doctor wouldn’t do that, this is a disgrace.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“He must’ve had his reasons, honey, let’s give it just a try.
Next time we go back to see him, we’ll have to ask him why.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A deliberate misrepresentation of the truth
force-fed to a girl who was already convinced that everyone was lying.
Why wasn’t honesty worth trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I woke up the next morning paralyzed in my bed.
I could only scream and slightly move my head.
My mom rushed in, panicked, asking what was wrong.
“Everything hurts, the drug is much too strong.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Within a few minutes, I escaped that paralyzed state.
I could move again, but only slowly. Everything ached.
Everything was cloudy and I was suddenly dumber.
Confused. Aloof. Emotionally number.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was accused of exaggerating the extent of my pain;
told it was all just in my brain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Months down the line, and the drugs still didn’t “work.”
I still spoke to the voices, and I was still emotionally hurt.
More and more milligrams prescribed so the voices would be silent,
and though my complaints were ignored, I acted in compliance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not because I wanted to; everyone threatened me with injections,
so I knew better than to hold to my objections.
Eoto advised it for my protection,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I became a shell to the outer world,
only animated during deep psychotic distress.
I was still tortured nightly by my demons,
but hell, at least everyone else had a rest.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Take this little (poison) pill, it’ll help you sleep.The other that we’ll give you will wipe away your grief.Don’t fret about the side effects, they’ll be gone in a few weeks,”the doctor said with confidence, lying through his teeth. “What kind of drug is this?” asked my cautious mom.“A mood stabilizer, it will keep your daughter calm.” “Risperdal: an atypical antipsychotic” I read when I got home.Perhaps she’d have declined if only she had known.… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/janedoe.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/janedoe.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/janedoe.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/janedoe.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/janedoe.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=17"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/janedoe.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18,"href":"https:\/\/janedoe.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17\/revisions\/18"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/janedoe.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=17"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/janedoe.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=17"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/janedoe.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=17"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}